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The Difference between Canada and the United States.

Some people say Canada's politics are different than the US. Not true. Canada is just as corrupt and worthless, but they don't have the media power to cover it all. Americans own the internet and most major news networks. Basically whatever the United States cares about, everybody else does too. Just because Canadian politics aren't a huge hype doesn't mean they're running smoothly.

I suppose Canadians have more blankets because it's colder in Canada. But I don't want to make blanket statements like that.

As for the difference in girls. Here is a stereotypical and blatantly misogynistic (but true) epitome of an American girl:

 

And now let's take a look at a typical Canadian girl:

 

 

American and Canadian people are precisely the same. It makes sense because our cultures are identical. The media shapes culture and we have the same media. However, Canadians tend to be several years behind on every trend. For example, Toronto recently got into a big pog craze.

I was playing this kid for keeps and he whips out a giant metal slammer. It weight liked five pounds. Then he smashes it down on all my pogs and they all flopped over and he took them and said, "Ha." So I took my slammer and threw it at his girlfriend lying there. She flipped over and I took her and left.

After all my extensive research, I've concluded that there is only one distinct thing separating Canada from the United States.

Smarties are the only thing substantially different about our two nations.

I've concluded that Canadians should be able to vote in American presidential elections. After all, Canadians care more about American politics than Americans do. Everything that happens in America directly reflects on Canada. And I think Canada should have a right to decide what influences them.

Or maybe give them 3/4 of a vote. Canadians are afraid to admit it, Americans don't realize it's there, but Canada is exactly like America. Minus the media-controlled government, minus the terrified nature of society, Canada = America.

Fuck it, why not just merge? What's the matter with the United States merging with Canada? By merging, I mean a hostile take-over by the American Republican Party in which Canada submits as we storm in and kick ass and take names. But the UN will play it off like it was a mutual agreement and every other country will approve. And if Canada doesn't agree to the US terms, we will take away their Starbucks and stop airing Family Guy. As well as stop the White Stripes from their Canada tour.


Last updated October 22nd, 2005


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