Hemp is reserved for dirty greaseball maggots.
A car drove 13,000 miles around America powered by nothing but hemp oil. Their mission was to convince people that hemp is a better fuel source than gasoline. Overall, the drive was a success and received huge media publicity. On the project's website, they compare the biological effects of gas and hemp. Amazing enough, hemp wins in all categories. This proves that when compared to fossil fuels, hemp is less harsh on the ozone. However, for some reason, the website forgot to mention one thing:
Hemp price source: http://www.hempoilcan.com/food.html
"Oh! Hemp is so much better for the environment! Hemp is so awesome! You can make anything out of it and it's so good on mother nature!" Shut the fuck up. Who cares about the environment? It's obvious that we're going to hell. People ask me, "Why don't you recycle? Don't you care about the environment?" I say...
Hemp products are everywhere now. Things like jewelry, clothing, backpacks, hair products, and soap are all being manufactured from marijuana. However, despite its booming success as an all-purpose material, the fibers from hemp are just as worthless as every other plant. The place of marijuana in society is to get people high, not wear around your neck. Just like broccoli - you eat it and throw the stem away, not dry the remains and make a scarf. Nobody will ever strut around their school showing off their new backpack made from eggplant leaves. The only reason anyone gives half a shit about hemp is because of it's vague association with the type of marijuana that gets you high.
Hemp is ugly. Its tannish earth tone draped over the limbs of shoeless dirtballs is about the most unattractive thing ever. The craftsmen are always nasty fleabags sitting on a street corner with their hemp products spread out all over a blanket. The lazy ones don't even weave hemp, they just cut off a dreadlock and glue the ends together.
To hell with this herbal back-to-nature movement. I'm going to continue wearing expensive, brandname clothing made from artificial material, filling my car with wonderful, wonderful gasoline, and using marijuana for what it was intended. If a shoeless hippy decides to give me shit for it, I'm going to hang him from a noose conveniently woven with hemp.
The reason America's government is so harsh about weed laws is because of the activists who make such a big deal about it. We need to shut up and keep the drug on the down-low. By waving our hemp and marijuana demands in the system's face, we're taunting them to set limits and control methods even more. Instead of protesting with banners and leaflettes, just chill out, go sit in your room, and get high. If we don't make a big deal out of it, neither will they.
Last updated April 16th, 2004