The Super Bowl is Super Bullshit.

I hate how fans pretend to be part of a sports team. They scream, "Yay! We scored!" Who is "we?" Watching a game happening two thousand miles away does not qualify you as a member of the Patriots. People are so quick to affiliate themselves with a sports team. A football team is not part of your identity and never will be. Get over it.

Now take something we're actually a part of - your country. Then you're no longer a part of it. All of a sudden it's a "they." "They banned gay marriage"... "They legalized medicinal marijuana." How are Super Bowl fans not a part of their country but are part of a sports team who they have no affiliation with at all?

Do you realize that ten times more people watched the Super Bowl than the State of the Union Address? Does that not scream out, "We're fucked?" More people care about a bunch of smelly men throwing around a ball than their own government. We're so fuckin' doomed.

People would rather go to a sports bar and flirt with a drunk stripper than sit at home studying a political science text book. I know I would. I'm totally ruined. I don't even know why I'm preaching this shit, I'm the least educated about everything about our country.

It's not the Super Bowl that sucks. It's that people identify with it. They actually feel like they're bonding with this team of people. Then geeky kids are made fun of for identifying with Star Wars characters. It makes no sense. Football players have just as much of a chance of being part of a NFL team as a nerdy dude has of flying an X-Wing for the alliance fleet. Yet one is absurd and retarded, and the other is totally cool.

I actually like the Super Bowl. Today the roads were clear, the stores were vacant, the laundramats were empty, and since sports fans make up most of the people I can't stand, I could go pretty much anywhere without getting pissed off at people. For me, the Super Bowl is the one time each year that I go in public. Any other time of the year, I risk being confronted by a huge macho steroid chugging sportsfan who thinks lifting weights and being aggressive brings him closer to friendship with his favorite football star. To hell with all of them.

Last updated February 6th, 2005