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More information about the swine flu (swine influenza)

WHAT IS SWINE FLU?

Swine flu is an STD. You get it from fucking pigs.

There have been 1,000 recorded cases of swine flu in the recent outbreak. This means that there are at least 1,000 people who fuck pigs in the world. Very disgusting.

I don't fuck pigs. Chances are that you probably don't fuck pigs either. But, that is not reason to put your histeria at ease about this plague. This is a serious epidemic because, though you might not get swine flu yourself, you are most likely connected to someone who does have it. Everyone in the world is connected to a pig fucker. It's like the game six degrees to Kevin Bacon, except instead of Kevin Bacon, you're having sex with the bacon. Which is a bit of an awful pun, but don't let that distract you. It is very dangerous. Pig fucking isn't some game you play in the car to your family reunion, while your sister is hogging the seat. Yes, that was another pun. But seriously, I cannot stress enough that this is a serious situation. Swine flu is very contagious. It is so contageous that if you have sex with a pig, you have a 98% - 100% chance of being a disgusting human being.

HOW IS IT CONTRACTED?

Here is some examples of how swine flu is contracted.:

1. Being a pig and having sex with other pigs in the ass or pig vagina or mouth.

3. If two pigs are sixty-nining and you jump in and tag-team out either the 6 or the 9, there is a good chance that you could contract swine flu.

4. You can also get swine flu by shooting heroin using a needle which a pig used who had the disease. And then fucking the pig in the ass. Also, if you share a needle with a pig, you also might get swine AIDs. Which is even more lethal.

6. Camp outside a medeival castle when a pyscho baby-killer queen turns you into a pig and then have a huge pig orgy with all the other people that turned into pigs like in that documentary about midgets with Val Kilmer.


Horny pigs contract swine flu in midget documentary with Val Kilmer

 

IS SWINE FLU DANGEROUS?

In short, yes.

It is a serious risk. Many cases of swine flu lead to death. To put this into perspective, here is a graph.

SYMPTOMS

Here is a dissection of a swine flu victim. By examining this photo, you can observe some interesting information about the symptoms of this disease.

PREVENTIONS

There is only one way to prevent swine flu. That is - be a raddish.

(pic related)


Last updated May 3rd, 2009


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